The Men of Iron Minute

by Chad Zueck | Director of Content Creation

Relational Strains and Struggles

People can be challenging. They say the wrong things or do the wrong things, or simply defy all logic in their decision-making. “They” are “we.” We all do these things all the time, so this should be a cakewalk. Oh, but it’s not. People require space and grace. Being a godly man brings about connection to family, friends, and mentors/proteges, and they will fail you (and you will fail them). They, like us all, are sinners that cause strains and struggles. Henceforth, they need space in our lives. That could be a conversation when things are falling apart or being the best man at their wedding when things are coming together. Space means being there when we are needed. Men, today, are desperate for connection and the suicide epidemic defining manhood today proves it. Space doesn’t mean such a distance to never be heard or never knowing what’s going on, and it doesn’t mean being all in someone’s business. It’s the place between. It’s the guy who attentively tunes in to be emotionally and relationally aware. This is an article with a good beginner/intermediate level of describing and developing this kind of emotional health strategy.

People need grace (in abundant amounts). With our aptitude for failing, godly men need to give others the merciful benefit of the doubt. These words from Thomas A Kempis strike a chord, “… to be able to live at peace with harsh and perverse men, or with the undisciplined and those who irritate us, is a great grace, a praiseworthy and manly thing.” Indeed, it is. People need grace. As people don’t show up on time or speak out of turn, or simply grind on your patience, they are people- people loved by God. They deserve the ability to make a mistake without being written off or canceled. If men are conflict avoidant, their shallow response to preferences, values, and opinions exposes their weakness. When dealing with people, the conflict will arise like the blistering, noonday sun.

The very existence of conflict presents numerous benefits to a man’s life.

Here’s how:

Conflict creates “rubber meets the road” moments in your life. It creates the right amount of friction to move you forward and it inspires change.
Conflict makes you a better negotiator. When you learn to work toward win-win solutions, the entire ecosystem of your life becomes more fluid, positive, and productive.
Conflict makes you realize what you do want (because sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.)
Conflict is the mother of invention and innovation. Only through many brilliant minds working together to create new solutions, do we grow as a society.
Conflict bridges disconnection. Ironically, it’s avoidance of conflict that creates and maintains a wedge between people.
Conflict, when managed in healthy ways, teaches us how to reconcile and repair a meaningful relationship. Repair and reconciliation are important relationship skills.[1]

Space and grace.

To grow. To fail. Again and again.

If you or someone near you is discussing suicide or having suicidal thoughts, please go to 988lifeline.org or call 988 today.

Dare greatly.

Live humbly.

Be a better man.

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[1]https://www.simonniblock.com/blog/the-conflict-avoidant-man-9-tactics-to-change-your-relationship-with-conflict