The Men of Iron Minute

by Chad Zueck | Director of Content Creation

Eight Ways to Sleep on the Couch Tonight

Last year I attended my first drag race. A friend had an extra ticket, so I had to see what it was all about. Force, Prock, and many other drag racing legends were in attendance that day. All in all, it was a cool experience. A few things blew me away: the pressure from the engine noise, watching the crews change pistons in a ridiculously short time, and the reaction time on the racetrack. Drivers lined up did a smoke rolling burnout, and went to the starting line awaiting the lights telling them to go. I couldn’t fathom how they could react that fast. The lights changed, and they were GONE! It was quite a sight to see. Most of the time, all the drag cars perform very well, so how they react determines if they will win or lose. How you react in drag racing, and marriage determines if you’re winning or losing. Marcus and Ashley Kusi share eight ways to blunder the communication that may land you on the couch tonight. Do any of these poor reactions resonate?

1. Assuming- Instead of listening to understand what your spouse is doing, you are impatiently waiting for them to break so you can put your two cents in, or you don’t wait and just butt right in.
2. Selective Listening- Distractions are the big cause of this blunder: phones, devices, and that never-ending to-do list.
3. Yelling- Raise your voice to end the conversation or to be heard as “powerful.” This only defeats the purpose of communicating and builds defensive walls.
4. Defensiveness- Being on the defense means not being willing to see things from your wife’s perspective.
5. Criticism- Being overly critical erodes the ground your marriage is founded upon.
6. Stonewalling- Also known as the silent treatment.
7. Pretending to understand- If you don’t know what your spouse is talking about, then admit it.
8. Expectations- Specifically, unmet expectations. You can’t expect what you haven’t clearly defined.[1]

“Communicating in love requires you to take a moment to respond rather than react.” Communication in Marriage, Marcus & Ashley Kusi

Don’t spin your wheels.

Relate and respond while resisting reacting.

Be a mentor.

Find a mentor.

Be a better man.

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[1]Communication in Marriage, Marcus & Ashley Kusi